Monday, June 10, 2013

Ways to Manage Feelings of Isolation and Loneliness

It's pretty ironic that with the invention of social networking a lot of people are now feeling more isolated and lonely than ever. A lack of social connection may result in loneliness which is a strong sense of emptiness and solitude. Being a subjective experience, it is possible to feel loneliness both when alone as well as within a group or crowd.
 Common aspects associated with loneliness include;

  •          Resisting change and new experiences.
  •         Not trusting other people enough to open up to them.
  •          Feeling anxious and as though no one will understand how miserable/isolated you feel.
  •          Feeling invisible and lacking the skill of assertiveness.
  •          Feeling uncomfortable starting conversations with strangers.
  •          Having the limiting belief that something is wrong with you.
  •          Experiencing low self-esteem.
  •          Feeling angry and defensive which leads to being critical about things even if they don't directly relate to you.
  •          Shyness when around other people.
  •          Feeling disconnected to other people when in a group or crowd.
  •          When in a crowd you feel like you are drowning in the voices.
  •          Feeling that you’re the only person who doesn't have any friends.
  •          Feeling extremely self-conscious in most everything you do.
  •          Feeling that other people won't understand your problems because they are so unique.
  •          Having thoughts of suicide.


 If you are unwilling to open up to other people chances are other people will also avoid opening up to you and the sense of loneliness that you feel will increase. If you want friends then you need to be a friend first. It should be no surprise that love gives life to others yet it is important to remember that in order to love someone else effectively you must love yourself first. You can't give what you don't have.  
 In order to stop feeling lonely you will need to develop friendships with other people however before doing that you need to become comfortable in your own company and feel better about yourself in general. Following is a list of ideas on ways to decrease your loneliness;

  •     Remind yourself the feeling of loneliness is temporary.
  •          Put yourself in situations where you will meet people.
  •          Make an effort to speak to someone new.
  •          Join societies like church groups, volunteer organizations etc.
  •         Stop listening to lonely songs.
  •          Open yourself to others.
  •          Don't judge new people on the basis of past relationships with previous people.
  •          Intimate friendships usually develop gradually as people learn to share their inner feelings with each other.
  •          Lead a well-balanced life and pay attention to nutrition, exercise and getting sufficient sleep.
  •          Spend time alone for self-reflection.
  •          Reflect back on good memories and be grateful for what you have.
  •          Learn a new skill e.g. dancing, drawing, painting etc
  •          Spend time meditating or praying
  •          If you feel you need assistance with overcoming loneliness or you are feeling depressed don't be afraid to seek help from a professional –doctor,  counselor, coach
  •          Do a program such as 60 Day Self Esteem Challenge

As technology increases and allows us to do so much more from our own homes the level of isolation and loneliness that people feel also appears to be increasing.  In order to overcome feelings of loneliness it is necessary to have interaction with others in person.  If you want to feel less lonely than it is up to you to do something about it and make an effort to put yourself in situations where there are people to interact and socialize with.  The first step in letting go of your loneliness is deciding that you want things to improve. Once you have made that decision and give some of the suggestions listed above a go you might even find yourself learning skills you never imagined learning and also having fun.  


Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Flat Belly Challenge - Last Day

It has been 28 days of clean eating for me along with regular exercise and the results are in. Although I only lost about 1 kg my waist measurement reduced by 5cm and I feel more toned, fitter and healthier than I have in a long time.
I had the advantage of moving into somewhere that I had no food only a couple of days before starting the challenge and therefore any food I brought was challenge approved. I think it also helped not having a teenager around to be eating junk food in front of me as has happened during previous attempts to follow healthy eating plans.
I actually found the greatest challenge came from the cheat meals that were permitted each week and I found myself scrutinizing things I would never have even thought of doing that with previously. I found that homemade chocolate blueberry protein bars were enough to overcome any chocolate cravings. Being a bit of a fan of potato chips when I got a desire to eat some of those I had the healthier option of either parsnip or kale chips, although still undecided as to whether I like kale chips or not.
My intention is to continue eating in a cleaner way than I did before the challenge and am looking forward to the muscle I have been building gobbling up the extra fat that is still hanging around. Apparently my ideal BMI requires me to lose another 20 kgs although I think I would be happy with 10 kgs. If you would like to try it yourself go have a look at www.flatbellychallenge.com
Okay now for the proof that doing the challenge was worthwhile!!


Thursday, February 14, 2013

Flat Belly Challenge - Cheat meals

I've been on the Flat Belly Challenge for two weeks now and I think the hardest thing so far was having the cheat meal where you can have whatever you want.
Having only recently moved into where I was living and starting the Challenge only a couple of days later I only brought food that was challenge approved so without going out it was all approved food. The recommendation in the challenge is to have the cheat meal on a weekend which makes sense to me despite having started on a Wednesday. When the Mum of the kids I look after a couple of days a week offered me a glass of wine I accepted and decided that this could be a mini cheat and I didn't even end up finishing the whole glass.
Than came the weekend and I decided that I had better fit my cheat meal in there somewhere so as I was going out thought that was a good opportunity. Mind you after all that good healthy eating I walked around the food court looking at all the options being very aware of how much fat and processed food was on offer. I eventually decided on a piece of lasagne which much to my dismay had far to much pasta layers and to be honest I didn't really enjoy it at all.
In regards to the program, well I feel as though my belly is getting flatter although I have measured my waist a number of times and that still seems to fluctuate quite considerably. I did manage to weigh myself after the first week and had lost about 1kg I think however no idea what the weight is yet this week. Mind you as I feel that the exercise I am doing along with the eating challenge is making me more toned so I'm not actually that concerned with the weight and besides my clothes appear to be fitting better.
I'm still finding the program easy enough to follow and since your eating so often never seem to be hungry although sometimes it seems like you're totally preoccupied with food and eating. I look forward to see the results the next couple of weeks bring.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Flat Belly Challenge - The first week

Hard to believe a week has gone by already and I also forgot to blog after the end of the detox like I had intended to do. I didn't find the detox part of the plan difficult at all. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the 'green' smoothies for breakfast and have had the since finishing with the addition of protein powder and also gave putting oats in it a go one morning and that wasn't too bad either.
I seem to have gone okay with not drinking coffee other than when I went to the shops on the second afternoon of the detox and I could smell coffee and all other manner of food I was now choosing not to inflict upon my body. I ended up with a slight headache after that trip however it didn't last long and drinking green teas seems to help.
So with the detox done and dusted I moved onto the rest of the eating plan. Although the protein powder I brought was only vanilla I'm pleased to say I think it is yummy! I'm a bit of a cheese lover so being able to eat some cottage cheese was awesome. I was really feeling like some chocolate so decided to make the high protein chocolate bars and oh my goodness! they are delicious. They smelt so good whilst they were cooking and if I hadn't have eaten my dinner before trying one I may well have been tempted to eat the whole tray full of them.
The one thing I was a little challenged by was the amount of meat that is needed to make up a portion of protein. Now this isn't so much of a problem for me when making dinner however when I put 100g of turkey slice on my rye bread sandwich it looked like so much meat considering in the past I would only put on a couple of small slices. Once I added the salad and started eating it was actually pretty good.
Meals aren't all that difficult to put together since I have cooked up extras of most of the things I have so far cooked and put them in portion size amounts to be taken out of the freezer and used later. Well it's time to go cook one of the other recipes from the plan - meaty muffins, so I have some more variety in what I have to eat and from what other people have said about them they are yummy.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Flat Belly Challenge - day 1

The first three days of the flat belly challenge are detox days which involves only eating fruit and vegetables. I've done other detox diets in the past including both the lemon and coconut detox which I don't think I will ever do again. The lemon detox included unpleasant laxative type treatment every day and as with the coconut detox drinking the same thing for each meal quickly becomes a challenge. The coconut detox was only for three days however it made me feel really really unwell and I think for a good portion of that time I slept.
When I read through the flat belly challenge detox I thought it would be much easier to do as there is still scope for variety. For breakfast I made a 'green' smoothie which as the mixed berries won out in the colour stakes actually looked pretty good and you could hardly taste that there was spinach in it. It was humongous though and took me a while to get through.
As I wake up relatively early it was around 930-1000 that I was set to have my morning snack. I time when having the juicer on hand would have been good as it doesn't seem nearly as weird having vegetable juice that early in the morning as it does a salad.
Lunch was another salad which I have no problem eating salad for lunch and carrot + celery sticks for afternoon snack, all going well so far!
Having cut out the coffee I did have a few cups of green tea and after doing an Aquarobics class in the evening was certainly ready for my green salad with steamed veggies when I got home.
All in all I would have to say the easiest detox I have tried so far.
I was looking forward to my Mango 'green' smoothie this morning and although it tasted okay it was as it's name says - green.





Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Flat Belly Challenge-Pre Starting

Over the past few months my life has been somewhat unsettled, self imposed but unsettled none the less. Since halfway through November I have quit my job and stopped being an employee, packed, moved my stuff to a storage container, cleaned, moved out, house sat, stayed at my Mum's a couple of nights before driving to Melbourne for the New Year period and than onto Adelaide. I arrived in Adelaide on the 2nd of January and had varies places of accommodation thanks to some wonderful and generous friends. On the 17th January only a couple of days before I was set to move into a more permanent living arrangement my Grandfather died so the following day I flew back to Sydney to spend the week with my family, did I mention I also left my Son behind in Sydney to find Student Accommodation as he is going to Uni there. After a little over a week at my Parent's place I flew back to Adelaide and am pleased to say by this time my Son had both found somewhere to live and moved in.
For a good portion of the past couple of years I have exercised by doing Pole dancing along with a Strength and Conditioning class which I haven't done now since halfway through December. I may not have been eating as well as I could have and once I arrived in Melbourne and Adelaide I was going out most nights and having what were really nice meals along with either alcoholic beverages or soft drink (which if I was eating at home I wouldn't be doing)
When I got back to Mum's place I jumped on her scales only to discover that I had gained about 2kgs in the 3 weeks I had been gone, oh dear no wonder my clothes are becoming tighter and tighter. Mum is fan of juicing so during my week there I did at times substitute regular food with a vegetable juice. I must have done okay as by the time I left I was back to where I had been three weeks earlier, woohoo.
I have heard great things about Rene's Flat Belly Challenge from friends who have already done it so I decided that I would give it a go. Even better shortly after I made this decision Rene rain a competition and now I am even getting to do the challenge for free as a result of the prize.
I had intended to start on Monday however didn't really think that through too well as I didn't get back to Adelaide until almost 6pm Sunday night and wasn't moving into my unit until some time on Monday afternoon. Another little glitch with my plan was that in South Australia the shops are actually closed on all Public Holidays not just Christmas Day, Easter Friday and ANZAC day like I am used to.
I'm good at being flexible so move the start up until Wednesday giving me the opportunity to move into my unit and than spend Tuesday buying all the things I would need.
There is good and bad about starting an eating plan when you move into a place with absolutely no food. The good is that there is no junk food to be tempted by, the bad is that I just about had a heart attack when I had to pay at the cash register. Mind you I still think the cost is worth it as it will be cheaper than having to go out and by a whole heap of new pants!!
Although I have actually started the plan I will leave my thoughts about the first day for the next post. I plan to write every couple of days or so during the time of the plan with my progress. The first three days are a detox phase in which it is best to not drink coffee, I suspected this would be the case so over the past week cut back my coffee drinking each day to make it easier to handle once I stopped completely.
Okay I have a couple of things to get done before heading off to try out a gym that is close-by and give Aquarobics a go.
If you would like to give the flat belly challenge a go yourself than take a look at http://www.flatbellychallenge.com/

If you feel you need to get your mindset sorted out beforehand and would like to find out more about personal success coaching you can contact me at http://www.destinybychoice.com.au/contact-us

Friday, January 4, 2013

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